(If there is such a thing for my brain currently.)
I've been thinking about cheerleaders. The emotional kind, not the sports kind. I have quite a few friends whose stuff I read as they are writing it and say things like "x is excellent! Y made me want to read more! How many words did you write today? 5? YAY YOU!" I do not, however, have friends who I feel that I can ask - or they could do - the same for me. I have, fortunately and unfortunately, surrounded myself with brilliant, critical readers and editors who have fascinating brains and fabulous abilities with written words. What they don't seem to be good at though? Turning all that off and going with unbridled (and possibly faked) enthusiasm.
Is this something we all need? Are we all lonely little people seeking validation? Or is there something about this age of instant feedback that makes me desperate for some?
I've been realising that I suddenly - partially - inhabit a world that no one else does these days. I mean, I can explain things to friends, but they can't know it like it's in my head. And that's a little lonely. I mean, not hugely and emo-ly, but ...weird feeling sometimes. HOW DO I TALK TO YOU, PEOPLE WHO DON'T INHABIT MY BRAIN? And so I think, other than just my desire to be patted on the back and validated, I kind of want cheerleaders so that other people will know what's going on in my head. What if I'm going crazy? What if this is awful?
Maybe the trick is to find a non publishing, non writer friend. Like G? Perhaps I will print it out and ask if she wants to read it tonight while I'm snuggling her face off. Maybe.